When my flatmate mentioned she was pregnant there was a lot of uncertainty in the thoughts speeding around my head. How was my life going to be affected by this addition?. Would this change eat into my personal time? Would it destroy my non-existent love-life leaving me single and bitter (more so)? How would it feel sharing a flat with a mother and a baby?
Luckily things turned out good, really really good. Mersina ( white flower in Greek ) is now around 9 months old and a proper little cuddlesome creature. She crawls wherever she wants, grabs stuff, has started to turn from the sofa where she has swiped the remote control toward the TV as she pushes the buttons now realising the relevance of the toy. The word 'da' is said most often, sometimes in succession in her cute little bursts, her little head nodding to help emphasise the importance of the word. She'll look when you call her name and giggles when tickled under her chin.
She loves it when Dad comes over and he and mum have been teaching her to throw a ball, its great watching these extra movements in her itinerary, seeing her standing get stronger, new words starting to form, her laugh getting louder and those outstretching arms signalling the need for a cuddle.
If you've been there early on and seen a baby grow you see how what seems so simple and unimpressive to a non-parent really is a joy and so very magical, much to the tedium of those not in the know am sure. I only say because I was one of them not able to really appreciate a baby doing stuff being quite as amazing as it really is.
If I could go back in time to that fateful evening sat at the dinner table having a rare meal together with my flatmate to let myself know how things would turn out , I wouldn't bother.
Personally I need to experience things first hand, if I had a future self tell me how things would turn out I wouldn't believe it and it wouldn't help. Its been good because the first days, months were tougher than things are now.
You think parenting is a compromise but I think its more conditioning. It definitely gives you purpose in life and a fresh perspective on things. New worries and countless rewards.
Oh yeah! Forgot about the toybox...
About 2 years ago I acquired a huge wooden Ikea TV display unit for free via gumtree. A couple moving out of their creaky flat in Clifton needed rid of this furniture within days of me replying to their ad as they were moving out.
An Italian mate ( an old neighbour ) was kind enough to drive me there and back helping to carry this monster down their rickety stairs and into my flat, luckily with the aid of an elevator.
It's been the happy home to several TVs passed down to us by charitable friends and family , currently upon its flat wooden top is a sky box and a nice slim 20" HD TV. Underneath our viewing pleasure is the many shelves of DVDs, a PS3 , and a wii. Every single DVD has been pulled off its shelf and most have been chewed by my god-daughter. The only reason they are put back is to allow her to pull them out again.
Yesterday it came to me , why not push the DVDs right back, there is plenty of space to push them just out of baby arms reach and put toys in front of them. Genius! Now what was a TV DVD display unit has pretty much become a huge toy box.
I know for certain a pre-baby me would see this as an encroachment on his space and possessions. Now I see a way to have baby toys strewn across the floor , much easier to pick up, while DVDs stay safe(r). In this case it's been compromise.
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