The thoughts of living with a baby , not my own baby, were across the spectrum. Excitement and fear of the unknown challenges ahead, happiness for my friend who had started to stress her biological clock would expire and depression of the negative impact this would have on my life both social and sexual.
Its just over a year now since my god-daughter set up residence in my abode. Of course the whole chapter in my life story has been 1 year 9 months with so many stages , so many issues and rewarding moments.
I stopped drinking regularly in preparation for this baby, not a bad thing to do I can tell you. I don’t go out and get hammered every weekend now , but I still go out , I am writing this on a hangover after all.
My flatmate has suffered from a lack of sleep and is what seems like a never ending state of ‘knackered’, but she also seems energised by the baby.
It is honestly quite hard to be watching a baby constantly , my flatmate’s bundle of joy can walk around pretty well now , cupboards are getting opened items strewn everywhere. It’s hard, there’s no denying it , but the more you do it the easier it seems to get. After all you know at some point she’ll need to sleep.
My sex life as a single bloke living with a baby seemed doomed but I’ve met more people and more women since my life changed. I was not meeting women beforehand because of my attitude, the baby made me change to better myself , there’s always room for improvement but the man I am now is in a very positive place compared to 2 years ago.
Changing nappies is now a breeze, feeding her is fine , not always successful , taking her out for walks or to see other people are all pretty normal for me now. Before baby arrived I was terrified of these events , the responsibility was too much , but things become so normal so quickly!
Getting in better shape has helped immensely as well. Other people with kids say they don’t have much time , Dads want to get back from work and spend the last few hours of the day with their child. I can appreciate this and this is where I differ maybe because she is not my daughter , although in the back of my mind I think about taking her to the local park or other activities when she is older and being able to keep up.
Theres nothing like a positive attitude , I am working on this but having the baby around forces me to be more positive, to avoid stressing about everything.
I could have let it get to me , the fact that I would be living with and affected by someone else’s baby. I had to suffer the mood swings from a pregnany flat mate , there’s the crying , the mess , the drain on money. I didn’t get her pregnant after all so why should I find myself in this situation.
Well firstly I could help a friend who helped me and funded me when I was suffering a serious bout of unemployment. I’ve also had a front row seat for my god daughters life and the bond we have is irreplaceable. I understand that pride parents get, the enthusiasm childless folk just cannot appreciate.
I think letting it get to me would have been childish. I wrestled with the concept for a while but I knew deep down I was never going to win, I had to let events unfold willingly, acceptance was vital.
If you find yourself heading toward a similar situation it doesn’t hurt to use the situation to your advantage and start ironing out some personal flaws, the reward will be an easier journey through guardianship and a special link to someone you will love, you don’t want to fight against that.